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         Pokemon: Weirdos Inc.



      Hi!  Us again!  Welcome to our Movie Special.  I don't know 

      when or how I'll finish it, but...  Oh well.  Usual script-type. 

      Togepi MIGHT show up...  Never really liked it that much..

       Togepi: Toge brii!  Yeah, script-type CAN be annoying to 

      readers, but that's their problem.  Maul fans'll kill me for 

      continuing this ^_^ 



      Movie Special: The Quest for the Guide Book 

                            to Getting Rid of Obnoxious Authors 


 Ash: I still say we need a theme song. 

Misty: Barney, keep your big, cheerio-sucking nose out of this. 

Mr Cracker: Who, me? 

Vegeta: Let's buy some poking-balls.  I wanna catch more pokemon, even if the one I already have is really common! 

Ash: (starts crying again) 

Sailor Moon: Stop being such a baby! 

Maul: We really need a new author.  This fic dosen't make any sense at all! 

Gary: Is it against the law to be a jerk or something?  Ash keeps giving me weird looks. 

Vegeta: That's 'cuz you LOOK weird, Oak! 

Sailor Moon: I have nothing to say. 

Misty: Maul's right.  We do need a new author! 

Author: HEY! 

Vegeta: She's right, you know.  We could sue you for abuse to cartoon characters!  My dad's a lawyer! 

Gary: Eh... 

Pikachu: I don't know how to sue anyone! 

Sailor Moon: Yeah.  We'll probably end up screwing ourselves. 

Misty: What we need... 

Ash (using phsycic powers): ... Is a guide book! 

Sailor Moon: A guide book on how to sue stupid authors! 

Gary: I can see where this story is going...

 Jessie: Well it won't be going nowhere without us!! 

Meowth: Meowth! 

Pikachu: Yeah!  

James: You mean you actually agree with us, Pikachu? 

Pikachu: Of course!  With you guys hanging around, we'll be going even slower than nowhere! 

            *ash-tachi cracks up* 


Meowth: Shad up!  Wait, I just remembered... 

James: We forgot our cue AGAIN! 

Maul: This fic has terrible grammer, dumb characters and no graphics.  I quit!  I..... 


                 *maul falls down plothole forever*



Jessie: To protect the world from devastation! 

Vegeta: They're weird.

 Misty: They're more than weird.  They're deranged! 

Mr Cracker: Who, me? 


           *author hires evil dust bunnies to eat mr cracker*


 Sailor Moon: At least now the author is showing some sense, getting rid of that Maul dude and the freaky cracker. 

Koala Book: To unite all peoples within our nation! 

James: Uh, what he said! 

Sailor Moon: Hopeless... 

Ash: Until we find that guide book! 

Jessie: To extend our reach to the stars above.... 

James: To denounce the evils of truth and love... 

Jessie: Wait a minute!  You mixed up our lines!

 James: What!?  You're the one who stole my part of the motto! 

Author: Bwa ha ha...  No one will ever get the Guide Book to Getting Rid of  Obnoxious Authors!!! 

Vegeta: Why not?!?

 Author: 'Cuz the only one in the Whole Wide World.... 

Misty: WWW! 

Author: .... Is located in... 

Vegeta: Yeah??? 

Jessie: Jessie! 

James: James! 

Author: ASH'S CLOSET!!!  BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! 

Everyone: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

 Vegeta: We'll never get it now!! 

Gary: Uh, were we talking about something relevant? 

Pikachu: No one escapes the dreaded Closet!!!

 Ash: Waaaaaaah....  Why do authors these days have to be so cruel?? 

Old Guy: Well, let's see...  It was back in the year 1802, I think...  Or maybe 8451, but...  It was the big Flood of the century, see?  And all the cahoots and gabbys came for a big hootenanny down in the...  Or maybe it was....?  My old brain ain't the way it used to be... 

Sailor Moon: Phsycho. 

Misty: I bet that poor, helpless old man was once a bright , athletic handsome fella who had the misfortune of blundering into Ash' Closet.... 

Gary: That's so sweet! 

Vegeta: Ahhhh.... 

Pikachu: Well, we're gonna have to get that book, no matter what! 

Ash: If it's the last thing we do! 

James: Well, it will be the last thing you do.

 Pikachu: Why? 

Meowth: Uh, once when we was tryin' to get Pikachu, we decided to get in his room by means of cutting a hole in the closet wall... 

Jessie: We ended up in there for three weeks! 

James: We were starved! 

Jessie: Poor Arbok...  *sniff*  He sure tasted good....

 Misty (horrified): You ate your POKEMON?!?!?

 Ash: Gag and barf!!!!


            *everyone except team r jump around and vomit*


Gary: How cruel!!!!

 Meowth: Ohhhh.....  The author's gonna get flamed fer this! 

Author: Shut up!!!


           *author flings ball of yarn at him*


Pikachu: Well, uh, let's get going... 

Ash: Yay!  Another adventure!

 Vegeta: Weird....

 Sailor Moon: That kid has a very annoying personality.

 Misty: Sez you!  I've had to be around him for most of my life! 

Vegeta: Transalation: Approximatly two years, give or take a few... 


             *everyone walks to ash's house*


Ash's Mom: Oh how sweet, Ashy!  You brought your little friends with you!  Maybe they'd like to see... 

Ash: Pssst!!  Mom, not now!  You'll embarass me!!! 

Mom: ..... Your baby pictures!!  You look so cute in these magenta diapers! 


Koala Book: What's with the huge crowd? 

Pirahna: Either the Ketchums are having a discount sale for the Nintendo Dolphin, Star Wars Episode 2 and a faster internet, or Mrs Ketchum is showing everyone baby photos of Ash in diapers. 

Tai: Baby pictures?!?  Diapers?!  Where?? 

Augumon: Down boy! 

Sora: Pervert.... 

Pirahna: All I know is that I'd sure like to have a Nintendo Dolphin! 


               *they join crowd to see ash's baby photos*


Mewtwo: I will take over the world! 

Ash: Augh!  Traitors, all of you!!!  Especcially the STUPID AUTHOR!! 

Misty: Hee hee!  You have to admit, Ash, these ARE pretty funny! 

Sailor Moon: Woah!  Look at this one!!

Everyone: What?  What?

 Vegeta: Ohh, the one where he's five, right? 


Everyone Except Ash: Oooooooh.....  

Vegeta: Whaddidya use, gel?? 

Ash: Er...

 Someone: I'll pay you 562$ for that picture!! 

Sailor Moon: I'll bid 693$!! 


          *crowd starts bidding for photo* 


Pikachu: ..... Now it's a collector's item?! 

Misty: Uh, I guess I could spare a few thousand bucks for that pic... 

Ash: I get the profits!!

 Jessie: We want some money, too! 

James: Hey, Jessie! 


  *whispers to her; they go around stealing everyones pokeballs* 


Gary: Hey!  Where's the Star Wars tape?! 

Pirahna: Sad..... 

Meowth: Pathetic... 

Ash: Are you guys quite DONE yet??! 

Misty: Yeah!!  I bid the highest and I got the photo of Ash with smooth hair! 

Jessie: He looks like a freak. 

James: Hey...  What in the world IS that thing?!? 

Pikachu: Are you refering to the thing in the photo? 

Vegeta: (snicker) 

James: Yeah!  It looks kind of like the boy twerp but really scary looking...  


         *everyone cracks up 'cept ash; meanwhile crowd has gone*


Ash: My life is meaningless..... 

Sailor Moon: Except for people to insult you! 


            *everyone cracks up again*


 Vegeta: We've stalled long enough....  On to the closet! 

James: That's Closet, Veggie. 

Vegeta: That's Vegeta, Stupid.

 Author: No it isn't, Veggie! 

Vegeta: Huh?? 

Pikachu: She changed your name thing..

 Misty: Ooh...  Funny! 

Veggie: What? 

Jessie: Heh heh heh heh!! 

Gary: I don't get it. 

Veggie: Neither do I. 

Ash: Well, we're here! 


            *they stop outside of ash's closet* 


Everyone: Ooooooh..... 

Gary: It's big. 

Sora: It's HUGE! 

Pirahna: Uh, are you coming too?

 Joe: Of course!

 Veggie: Ugh...  Who invited THEM? 

Tara: Hello!  Welcome to the fabled Land of the Lost Lunches, a.k.a, Ash's Closet.  This phenomenon is home to the rare and exotic, "Dust Bunny Demon" and other strange and wonderful species of wildlife.  Please keep your hands to yourself and respect the habitat.  Enjoy the tour! 

Tai: Mmmmm.....  Babe.... 

Joe: Very hot! 

Misty: What a hussy! 

Sailor Moon: Yeah!  They're OUR men! 

Sora: Who's SHE, anyways?!? 

Tara: Are you referin' to 'lil ol' me?  I'm just the poor, innocent tour guide!

 Pikachu: Ah heh heh heh.... 

Mewtwo: I will take over the world! 

Tara: Ah, sorry, no stupid purple thingamajiggers allowed! 

Barney: Awwwww.....

 Mewtwo: I won't take over the world?!?

 Ash: Kill two birds with one stone!

 Gary: Ooh...  That's real deep, Ash...


Ash: Huh?

 Misty: Let's get going... 

Sailor Moon: Uh, no offense Tara, but we'd much rather do this on our own- 

Tara: Hee hee!  Enjoy your trip, bum-heads!  BWA HA HA HA!!!  

              *disappears into nowhere* 


 Veggie: Gleep! 

Joe: I really don't like the way she phrased that last sentence.. 

Veggie: I don't like the way she laughed! 

Misty: Ahhh...  Your such a wuss, Vegeta...

 Ash: You mean Veggie!

 Veggie: Something dosen't feel right here....

 Sailor Moon: C'mon, Veggie.


           *they venture into closet*


Pikachu: AUGH!!

Veggie: Gleep-

Ash: Ugh....

Augumon: What stinks?!?

Sailor Moon: Pheeeewie!

Jessie: Ah, here we are again!

Meowth: Finally!

Misty: Oh, it's Team Sucks.  No wonder it smells so bad in here!


            *ash and tai-tachi start laughing*


Meowth: Waaah...  Thay're me-e-e-e-e-an....

Jessie: Mean?!?  They're downright rude!

Ash: Ahhh...  You want polite?  Okay then- Dear Mr and Mrs Rocket and your little pussy-wussy, we are sorry to inform you that- Oh, how shall we put this...  You are a sorry society of LOSERS!!!

Everyone 'Cept Team R: AH HA HA HA HA!!!!

Veggie: Gleep!

James: Ooh, what's that?

Pikachu: It's an Evil Dust Bunny Demon.

Sailor Moon: Oooooooooh....  They're so CYUUUUUUUUTE!!!!

Gary: Ehhh...  Yes....

Ash: Ooh!  I'm gonna catch it!

Misty: ASH!!  It's not a pokemon!!

Ash: Sez you!

EDBD: Die!  Writh within the flames of Under-the-Bed-Lint Growth!!

Sailor Moon: Use your pokedex, Ash.

Veggie: Ooh...  It's all nice and upgraded, ain't it?

Gary: WHAT!??

Misty: You'll see, Ashy-Washy.  That is NOT a pokemon!

Ash: Yeah, but Proffessor Oak upgraded it so that it'll give me info on even things that aren't pokemon!

Meowth: Co-o-o-o-ol.

Pokedex: Evil Dust Bunny Demon, also refered to as "EDBD".

Pikachu: Hmph...  Lazy authors these days...

Pokedex: These strange beings are not associated with Pokemon, Game Freak, Nintendo or Monsters Inc. in any way, to which most of the characters of this story belong.

Misty: Toldja it wasn't a pokemon.

James: So that's where the disclaimer went!

Pikachu: Too late.  I think someone already sued us.

Laywer: Do you want the fine now or in court?


Everyone Else: Well excu-u-u-u-u-u-u-use me!!

Pokedex: The Dust Bunnies spend their time under beds, couches or in closets plotting new ways to torture anyone who ventures into their territory or, if they are of the Couch variety, stealing loose change or other miscallaneous (hah.  spell that without a dictionary!) items that fall out of peoples pockets.  Dexter out.


              *pokedex beeps off*


James: So that was where my peanut-butter sandwich went!

Jessie:AND my spare mallet!

Meowth: At least that's one thing we can be thankful to the Bunnies for...

Ash: Wait!  Dexter, what's their special attack??

EDBD: BWA HA HA HA!!!  Prepare to witness.....  The Awesome Megatronic Hexa-Chrono Techna Dust Beam!!!!!!!  

Pikachu: I guess that answers that question....

James: Hey, that would make a great name for my next invention!

Laywer: Sorry.  Copyright rules.

Vegeta: Aw, butt out.

Misty: You got your name back, Vegeta!

Vegeta: Huh?

Gary: Is this some sort of private joke?

Jessie: No, but to someone as dumb as you, maybe!

Gary: Gaaaaah...  Whatever.

Sailor Moon: Uh-oh.

Meowth: RUN!!!


 *edbd uses awesome megatronic hexa...  well, you get the point..*


Vegeta: Cough cough...  What kind of attack is this??!

Sailor Moon: All I know is that it's stronger than my Moon Crystal Power.

Vegeta: Anything would be stronger than that wimpy attack!  Bet I could whup your blue-skirted tush, Moon.

Pikachu: Bet I could whup both of you wusses put together!

Misty: AAAAH!!!  We're getting blown away by a huge dust-devil and my pigtail's coming loose!!

Jessie: If that thing touches my hair...

Lawyer: Maybe you should put an insurance policy on that, ma'am.

Ash: My hat!

Misty: My pigtail!

Jessie: My hair!

James: My leftover peanut-butter sandwiches!

Meowth: My charm!

Vegeta: Was that a challenge, ya yellow-bellied rat?!

Pikachu: It takes one to know one, Veggie-Head!

Sailor Moon: Look who's talkin'!

Gary: My birth certificates!

Misty: Huh??

Vegeta: Whaddya need those for?

Gary: To prove I'm not a girl.....  Stop laughing!

Pikachu: Oww...  What was that sparkly grey thing that just bumped into my head?!

EDBD: It was a Megatronic Hexa-Chrono Lint ball, duh!

Tai: It's dusty in here.

Joe: We haven't been speaking for a while, and we noticed you guys talkin' about something called "pokemon".  What's a pokemon?

Ash: Here we go again....

Misty: I am NOT explaining twice.

Sora: Huh!


    *everyone is blown away into various parts of the closet*


Vegeta: Ugh...

Pikachu: Where are we?  Where are the others?

Vegeta: I dunno.  Hey, there's Moon!

Sailor Moon: That's SAILOR Moon to you, Blue Spandex!

Pikachu: Well, before we go looking for the rest of the group, how about that challenge, Spikey Head?

Vegeta: You're on!  By the way, that's Mr. Spikey Head!

Sailor Moon: Winner takes all!

Pikachu: Wha?

Sailor Moon: Nevermind^_^;; 


             *meanwhile, in a somewhere else...*


Tai: Aaaaah!  Where is everyone?!?

Gary: We're surrounded by Evil Dust Bunny Demons!

James: What!  We got stuck with them?!?

Meowth: Not "we", James.  Jessie isn't here!

Augumon: Well, nerr! 

EDBD: You shall be our slaves!

Joe: Say what?

Gary: What do we do?

EDBD: You will help us spread the deadly plaugue of dust and lint...

Sora: Is that all?

EDBD: ....And help us rid the world of peanut-butter sandwiches forever!!!  BWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

James: NO!!!

Gary: Do we get paid?

Meowth: Ahhhh....  The author stuck us with the jerks.

Sora: Excuse me?!?  Don't mess with me!  I'm armed!  I have a mallet!

James: For the sake of peanut-butter sandwiches everywhere....

EDBD: Ha!  Your puny attacks cannot defeat us all!



  *james charges, misses and crashes into oppisite wall.  augumon 

   digivolves and roasts all the demons with a nova blast*


EDBD: Ugh...  Bad breath....

James: Erghuff.....  Huh?  I did it!  I defeated all the Dust Bunnies with my suprior skill!!

Greymon: For the sake of all sane digimon everywhere, I ought to blast you!

Meowth: Much as I regret saying this- Don't.

Sora: Am I the only sensible person here?!?  We have to find the others!


              *meanwhile, in a somewhere*


Ash: Now, let's see who I got stuck with.

Misty: You mean, who I got stuck with!

Jessie: Ow...  Prepare for double....

Tara: .....  And on your right you can see the amazing Leaky Thermos Falls....  And on the left is the World's Largest Hairball, dedicated to us by Pedicure X Inc, housing the finest breed of Persian in the world.  And straight ahead...

Pikachu: That weird tour guide sure picked a good time to pop up!

Misty: I don't know about that...

Ash: Hubba dubba!  Very spicy!

Jessie: Well, if it's not my James...  I mean, just plain James, then it's no concern of mine....

Pirahna: HER James.

Misty: Ash!  Get back here right now!

Ash: Huhhhh.....  Hello there....

Tara: Excuse me, sir, but you must keep your hands to yourself.  Don't want to damage the habitat, now do we?

Misty: Ash!  Control your hormones!

Jessie: He's just standing in for Brock, I guess.

Misty: Yeah.  The last time he fell in love with a pretty girl was when we visited Pokemon Tech and that self-centered, vain, egotistical boyfriend-stealing Giselle....  Did I say boyfriend?  Ah heh heh heh....  Whoops!

Jessie: Sure, whoops! ^_~

Pirahna: Right, Misty! ~_^

Ash: Hey, why are you two winking?

Tara: And as a special feature, on your left is the legendary...

Jessie: (ash and misty, sittin' in a tree....)

Pirahna: (k-i-s-s-i-n-g...)

Misty: NOW what?!?

Ash: Is this some sort of private joke?

Tara: ......Guide Book to Getting Rid of Obnoxious Authors!  Please do not touch.  And this is the end of our tour, thank you for joining us.

Jessie: Did she just say what I thought she said?!

Ash: I shoulda paid more attention in geography.  Where's Left?

Jessie: That hurts.

Pirahna: Left is the hand you don't throw your pokeballs with, Ash.

Ash: Oh.

Misty: There's the guide book!!  Move it, Tour Guide!!

Tara: Aah!  You moronic poop-head!!

Ash: She's just SOOOO witty, too!  Get a load of those comebacks!

Jessie: Yes.  That's nice.

Misty: If I just heard you sticking up for that blond bum, I'll blast you into next Thursday!!

Ash: Don't mind her...  She's merley jealous of our love...

Tara: Freak.


  *misty grabs book...  and is immediantly surrounded by edbds.*


Tara: It's security!  Run!

Jessie: Why are you suddenly on our side?

Tara: 'Cuz I'm a closest-friend insertion and I'll force the author to redo this if otherwise!!!

Author: Grrrrr....

Ash: You can't steal from Tara!

Misty: Shut up and run like....  Mphph!!! (somone covers her mouth)

Jessie: Misty, we want to keep the rating down, okay?

Misty: Spoilsport.

EDBD: Get them!  That Guide Book was our main tourist attraction!  You'll all get a cut in your salary if we don't catch them quick!!


                 *meanwhile, in a somewhere*


Vegeta: Kaio-ken!!

Sailor Moon: Eat Moon Wand Power disks, rat!

Pikachu: If ya don't got speed, ya don't got nuttin'!

Vegeta: In that case...  Triple Strike!

Pikachu: I faint in terror....  BWA HA HA HA!!!!!

Vegeta: AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!!  You truly have awesome power!

Sailor Moon: Hey...  Someone's running towards us!

Pikachu: It's Ash, Misty....  Jessie....  The weird Tour guide...

Vegeta: Tour guide??!  Where??!

Pikachu: They're all being chased by the Dust Bunnies!

Sailor Moon: Whoa!  Where'd they get the Guide Book?!

Tai: We found 'em!

Sora: I found them.  You couldn't find your way out of a closet.  Ooh, I made a joke!

James: Jessie!!

Jessie: GET THEM AWAY!!!!!

Meowth: It's them, alright.

Tara: Everyone, keep calm, we are simply experiencing technical difficulties...


           *soon everyone is running and all is chaos*


Meowth: This is a little more trouble then even I can handle....

Jessie: Nothing is too much trouble for Team Rocket!!!

Joe: Except Evil Dust Bunny Demons...

Tara: This way please!

Vegeta: I see light up ahead!

Ash: Whoop!


           *the group stumble out and lock the door*


Everyone Except Tara: Gahhhhh....  Gasp.....    

James: I'm so tired I can hardly pant!

Vegeta: Oh yeah?  Well I'M so tired I could hardly faint!

Sailor Moon: You know that's not even humanly possible, Dip-Wad.

Vegeta: Oh, yeah?  I'm not a human!  So gleepers to you!

Misty: Lighten up!  At least now we can sue the author!

Meowth: And get outta this stinkin' fan-fic!

Pikachu: Ok, what you have to do is...  This...  Man, the fine print is so small I can't even read it!

Joe: There's the laywer!

Ash: The perfect man to have around in a crisis!

Laywer: Um, it says here to do this...  And that...  Blah blah blah....

Sora: Hello, Mr Laywer.  We'd like you to sue a certain author for us, please!

Laywer: Well....

Everyone Else: Ple-e-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-ase????

Laywer: I'm off duty.


                *everyone else face-faults*


                                   THE END



Gary: Who's Everyone Else?  Is he a new character?

Misty: Ohhhhhh,  that was too stupid a comment to bear....

Ash: I still think the author did that on purpose.

Jessie: Duhhhhh!!

Augumon: All that work for nothing!!!

Author: Don't worry...  Now you all get to watch the credits!

Vegeta: Save me....  *sob*


                            THE BORING CREDITS


             Producer: Jesus Freak

             Director: Jesus Freak

             Editor: Jesus Freak

             Sound Director: Jesus Freak

             Graphics: Jesus Freak

             Other Roles: Jesus Freak

             Characters: Ash



                               Sailor Moon






                               Darth Maul





                               Koala Book





                               Ash's Mom


                               Evil Dust Bunny Demons

                               Old Guy


                               Mr Cracker



                       Special Guest Appearance                          


                       Tara the Weird Tour Guide




Gary: They forgot to mention Everyone Else.

Misty: Aah!!


                      *whacks gary with a steel mallet*





     Weirdos Inc.  2000 @ (I couldn't find a copyright symbol)